19 Things That I Don’t Understand


Ok, I’m not looking to ruffle feathers or cause offences here. I just thought that it would make for an interesting blog post to share some things in culture, fashion, trends, beliefs and behaviors that don’t resonate with me.

I’m not saying that the following are inherently wrong or stupid – just that they don’t appeal or make sense to me. For what it’s worth, 19-odd things that make me scratch my head.

Tattoos

Tribal Tattoo on BicepThese have never appealed to me, visually or conceptually. Permanently decorating my skin so that I can better communicate myself? No thanks. I’ll pass. Am I that unique or desperate to be understood? Nope. Would adding bumper stickers to my body really do me any favors? I suppose if I’m seeking attention on a purely superficial level, it makes sense. To me, some of the oddest choices for tattoos are: butterflies, fairies, scriptures and cartoon characters. Eh, to each his own I suppose.

Facebook Complainers

Man yelling into phone.I know we’re all creatures of habit and typically have our own ideas of how things should work, but how is it that people can boldly complain about Facebook? It’s like being invited into someone’s home, insulting their taste in decor and spitting out the food they’ve made for you. Over a billion people actively use this FREE social media platform. It’s certainly not without its problems, but it is such a part of our culture, business and daily lives that the level of entitlement floors me whenever I see people cursing Facebook for changing its layout or any other policy or function. Those complainers are probably in too deep. Take a step away from your computer and breathe in some perspective. Be grateful.

Adults With Backpacks

Adults with backpacks on.I see a lot of adults rockin’ the kid’s book bags and backpacks. Are we going back to 6th grade with that JanSport®? Do we have soccer practice after work? The sporty ones make sense if you’re actually hiking, ya know, out in the wilderness. 18 or older? Try messenger bags, briefcases, rolling luggage, etc.

How My Car Works

Car engine.Pistons, belts, valves, crankshafts. Crankshafts?! They did not teach this in shop class. I’m screwed. How does a car engine work? How do I change its oil and diagnose on-the-road breakdowns? I should really study up on this stuff some time. I feel like such an emasculated noob.

Piercings

Man with facial piercings.The only thing that these seem to accomplish is to make a spectacle of the person with metal in their eyebrow, nose, lip, cheek, navel, etc. It doesn’t communicate their personality – well, maybe just their deep desire to appear different. I get distracted when I try to talk to someone with a bunch of piercings. Like when you’re talking to someone with spinach between their Chiclets.

Painters Wearing White

House painters wearing white.Painter, “My job is messy – working with pigments that stain… I know. My uniform should be all-white!” I often wonder how this came about. Is it mostly to say “I don’t care that I’m a mess. Proud of it, actually. Not gonna hide it.” Maybe if painters wore neutral tones or dark colors, the stains wouldn’t be as extreme, and the person would just appear unkempt. Just a thought…

Scarves

Young women with trendy scarves.This modern-day explosion of the scarf has gone viral. I think it’s become a bigger trend than bellbottoms in their hay day. Big, fluffy, multi-colored scarves are all the rage for women and men. Even in warmer weather, people are rockin’ scarves with t-shirts and shorts. I’d love to just see them as an occasional accessory. Sometimes, they give off a stiff, guarded, sloppy, unwelcoming vibe. All of a sudden, no one has collars, necklines, or necks for that matter. I say, “Ditch the scarf, liberate Adam’s apple, uncover collar bones and celebrate your décolleté!”

Crocs™

Crocks on feet.Comfortable? Affordable? Probably, but these are an eyesore. They may just be a slap in the face to every shoe designer out there. I’m sorry, but brightly-colored, vented, molded foam footware isn’t exactly screaming ‘style’ or ‘sophistication’. Are these the great grandchildren of jelly shoes from the 1980s? Serenity now!

Glass Tables & Desks

Glass top table.I swear, if I bang my leg into glass furniture one more time I’m gonna [hulk smash]… !#@!$%&@! The novelty and contemporary allure of ‘magically see-through’ glass furniture faded quickly. Let’s keep the glass to windows and drinkware, deal? Furniture = wood. Period. Ok, maybe the occasional MDF too.

Field Hockey

Field hockey sticks.Ok, hockey is on an ice rink with a puck. Lacrosse is on a field, standing upright. What’s with the skirted girls all hunched over, chasing a little ball with short sticks? I really don’t understand this sport. Never looks graceful or fun. Awkward at every turn. Next…

Atheists

Athiest symbol.I am a Christian. I believe in the Bible. It’s a choice – a personal conviction, and augmented with a heavy dose of faith. For the life of me, I can’t see what sustainable joy there could be in this world for someone who doesn’t believe in God, a creator or an afterlife. If I didn’t believe in those things, I think that my only logical choice would be to live a destructive, hedonistic lifestyle. So while I could see how someone may not find enough evidence or muster the faith to believe in a higher being, I don’t get what force drives them to live life. Am I just a dreamer – googly-eyed at a Heaven that I hope is waiting for me?

Postal Service

Stacks of mail.Logistics. How does a package get picked up from my front door and zigzagged all over till it lands at its destination? And how does it all happen so fast (and so accurately)? I should really watch a documentary on this someday. It fascinates me how all packages get routed and couriered each day. The USPS handles over half a billion pieces of mail each day! Incredible.

Wristbands For a Cause

Special cause rubber bracelets.Was LiveStrong™ the first kid on the block with these colorful rubber bracelets? Are these like half-hearted tattoos – expressing yourself and your big, philanthropic heart for all to admire? There are so many bracelets like these that I’ve lost count. It’s hard to take notice anymore. I say, just do good. You don’t need to advertise your deeds. WWJD?

Saggy Pants

Saggy pants.‘King of the ridiculous.’ This fashion trend is so lame and downright offensive in many instances (picture standing in a line with your child and what’s at their eye level but Mr. HipHopSaggyPants’ butt unabashedly out in the open, barely covered by his silk boxers.) Who, I mean WHO finds this attractive? I’m not suggesting jumping into a pair of high waters and slinging those bad boys north with suspenders, but come on. It does look cool for pants to be a little low, but no one wants to see your underwear or what they’re supposed to be covering.

Emoticons In Emails

EmoticonsCan’t we keep these cutesy icons in texts and IMs? There is really no need for them in email communications – especially in business-related messages. They really don’t add value and often appear broken in mobile devices/readers.

Text messages and IMs = quick, broken english messages with cute emoticons.
Emails = proper english, complete thoughts, no decorations needed.

Fund Raisers

Ladies participating in a walk-a-thon.Why do people need to do a walk, a run, dance a-thon, some humiliating stunt, etc. to ‘raise awareness’ or take in money for charity? Doesn’t the cause merit the attention on its own without the need for someone to do some unrelated thing like exercise or goof-ball activity? Seems like a tired sales tactic to me. I’ll donate to your worthy cause, but don’t try to hook me with your flashy ribbons and silly group antics.

Choreography

Modern dancers rehearsing.I have great rhythm but am an average dancer (at best). That’s ok though. I don’t really enjoy dancing and don’t aspire to become skilled at it. It’s always been a mystery to me how dancers memorize a full routine and then execute it. Muscle memory? Counting? An even greater mystery to me is how dance routines are dreamed up and choreographed in the first place. I guess it would all make more sense to me if I became a dancer… I’ll keep admiring from afar, thx.

Aggressive Drivers

Aggressive driver yelling.Am I getting old or are there more aggressive (sometimes downright dangerous) drivers on the road than ever? I get really, really mad at people who weave in and out of lanes during rush hour or cut me off so they can be first at a red light. What are they proving? In the past couple months, I have witnessed one, totally avoidable, accident and dozens of really close calls. All at the hands of people behind the wheel who are so self-absorbed and immature that they put everyone else at risk and usually gain no benefit from their poor choices. I’ve become an expert defensive driver out of necessity.

Jumpers & Flippers

Man doing a bmx flip.Any athlete that defies gravity by doing jumps and flips… what/how? I don’t understand how BMXers, snowboarders, ski jumpers, skateborders, etc. first learn how to do these dangerous moves. They’re not cats that are guaranteed to land on their feet and have spare lives to gamble with. For example, wouldn’t a snowboarder’s first attempt at a 360° flip be bone-crushing and put them out of commission for a good amount of time? I’m in awe of people that pull off amazing jumps, spins and twirls. You know they had many failed attempts prior to the amazing one you just saw.